Overview:
Pastor Toby and my Seven Perfect Years is about my venture to seek total peace after growing up without a father. My belated dad, Tobias Plaatjies, who was known to many in Beaufort-West and surrounding areas as Pastor Toby, was murdered on 18 February 1987, in the middle of the dark Apartheid years while preaching the Word of God as a minister of the Gospel to oppressed farm workers on a farm just outside Kimberley. I was just a seven year old boy at that time and was single-handedly raised by a fervent mother who sacrificed much to make sure that my 11-year old sister, Olga Ruth and I grow up to become what God intended us to be, irrespective of what has happened to the family.
Today, 24 years later, I can thank God for carrying my family through all these years and bringing the ‘peace that transcends all understanding’. Today I can, like many of my friends who also grew up in similar non-conducive circumstances, can acquaint with a story that would expectantly bring hope and courage to thousands of men who grew up without a father in their lives.
INTRODUCTION
‘He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.’
-Clarence Budington Kelland-
Every child needs a father, or at least someone that could be around while he grows up to be a man. Someone like himself. Someone who will have a wild heart like he has and someone who will tap every bit of potential out of him while he grows up to be the man he should be. Every time I mention ‘he’ or ‘his’, I of course refer to women as well, so please do not feel excluded.
Deep in his heart, the father knows that this ball of energy that is doing cartwheels in front of him right now will probably not grow up to be like him, but he will still attempt to create a genetic copy of himself. However, he might adapt a few personality traits or funny mannerisms that will definitely not go by unnoticed. For some reason boys needs that more. Again I mean that in the most gender sensitive way. You will discover later in the book why I was brave enough to mention that. The truth is, every father was once a boy. He was once like that energetic little boy himself who loved running around the back yard, climbing trees, exploring nature and just being a little brave star.
That is who I was. Just a normal boy. A seven year old who wanted nothing else but having this man who looks just like him around. It felt really great having a dad around, almost like he was the giant version of me. Also having a mother who took care of this hero and always fed him with the biggest plate of food each night, which would talk about him in respect and honor before others and would gladly pass me to him when I have crossed the line.
The story is about me. Or maybe the story is about my father. Or maybe the argument is not what the story is about, but who the story is for.
The story is for every man who grew up without a father in his life. Every man who has lost their childhood hero and grew up learning how to fight against life’s battles on their own, without the proper exemplar or preparation. For that privilege has been taken away from him, be it through divorce, through an early death, through anecdotal behavior of a man who walked out on his family or maybe the pressure of an unplanned birth. The story is for men who have equitably harbored questions in his heart on why exactly that has happened to him. The men who tried over all these years to get an understanding of this invaluable lost and have tried everything to bridge that gap and fill that void in his lonely heart.
I hope that this story about a man who had the same struggles will somehow bring healing and restoration to the many souls out there who screams out for answers. Let me say however that I’m not suggesting that this book would contain all those answers, but I am of the opinion that I share a commonality with many of you men who have grown up without a father, and with that comes a deep understanding for your inherent battles. Battles that many men in our situation have lost to fierce opponents such as bitterness, hatred and sorrow. Battles that left them empty, broken and hurt. What has caused me to overcome and won the battles (after years of battle wounds) were learning who my Father in heaven is, reading his book of love, studying the future and doing my best to become the man my dad wanted me to become. Alas, as in the words of Dr Jay Hayford, ‘The past is a dead issue, and we can’t gain any momentum moving toward tomorrow if we are dragging our past behind us.’ We learn from the past, we do not live in it. Hope the book speaks to your heart.
